A Special Moment in Time
I wanted to write about a moment (a very long one) in time that was really special, coming out of it I just felt so enlightened — like I learnt both so much about myself and people.
So I had to try to preserve some of it through this post.
I’ve been on lockdown zoom calls from 8:30pm-2:30am talking about life, emotions, events, Allah and other intangible things. We brought the emotions from the chaos of each other’s lives into these conversations to reflect.
Then our families began going to sleep and in an unspoken agreement the conversation continued through furious typing on zoom and watching each other’s faces every now and then instead of actually speaking to keep silent. It was hilarious, so special and wholesome.
Here were some of the random snippets of the conversation, I like to call them from the fruits of wisdoms that can be picked only through human connection.
H & A:
Emotions are sources of information
Experiences are gifts — they are blessings.
Everyone teaches you something that comes from their own experiences which is why we must speak to many people to gain a holistic understanding
The moment you get emotionally attached you don’t see objectively, you compromise and make excuses
Maturity is not always measured by age, it is experience
Have a think about where you’re at in terms of your relationship with yourself and do the self-work that you need to (are you comfortable with who you are, do you know what you want to do with your life, do you know what your weaknesses are and are you working on them, your personality type and the people you vibe with) and you need to have your non-negotiables set (things and values you’re not willing to compromise on)
Anyone can spin words, don’t fall for everyone who can do it
Write a letter to yourself and speak to close people and look deep into yourself of all the things that you need to change and the person you want to be. Write a letter to yourself.
— — —
How much do we really need to open up to one another?
R: Yes, but sometimes the prayer mat is all you need and other times you need to let it out all and share the burden of life and its emotion with someone else
A: I love friendship, wholesome connection, opening up and learning from each other’s stories
S: aight A hearing your state of mind today and clarity was nice
I think from all this advice it’s important to remember that the term “right” can be subjective
You will hear many opinions — all profound, but ultimately it comes down to you and your isitkahra
A: That’s a map we have to make ourselves the best we can
And everyone’s maps will be a little different
R: “some have to drown to teach others to swim” or some quote like that
A: You know it’s sad though to see the improper approaches to relationships because of lack of guidance, mentorship, general knowledge and the access to these for the young, naive people
S: You know, sometimes people have resources but don’t seek it. I admire you for reaching out to people — let yourself open up
A: I’ve learnt there is so much beauty and strength in trusting the right people. You just need to be brave enough to do it. Because you will learn so much and gain the wisdom of living in another person’s shoes. That’s part of the growing process. Lots of humans have felt this similar experience, and come out of it, learning from it. So, to be able to get a view from someone like that is powerful
Can really show you something you genuinely couldn’t on your own
S: humans won’t ever fully understand, but there’s still those other fruits
A: The quality of your life is determined by your relationships with people. Relationships can be measured from opening up. And 2 people can only truly open up if there is reciprocation, real human connection has to be double sided
Humans are social creatures; Humans cannot survive without emotional experiences with other humans
S: I let myself cry, and it was good. Crying doesn’t mean sadness. I’d say a huge third of it was just immense gratitude
2/3 gratitude, 1/3 thoughts, confusion, fear, randomness
R: When you speak to people and share yourself you get worried about how they perceive and if they understand and I regret it. So it’s hard because no one can understand your context and the reasons properly
A: I certainly feel like that when I speak to a person at the wrong time
R: what works for me is pulling up a note on my phone and spilling my heart out, and that gives me clarity of mind, because I can organise my thoughts and see what I need to fix in my life or try and understand my self
R: Everyone has their connotations and assumptions of people and that’s for them and what you have is for you. Take the good people give you and leave the rest- it’s not your baggage to carry Having husnul dhunn (good assumption) is good to start with. Everyone has issues and some bit of it becomes known to the people.
A: LOL how do we preserve this whole convo? Why did it have to be on zoom, The fact none of us are acknowledging how weird this is > Funny how we went from talking to texting.
That is so bizarre (your word R), unique and special
R: You have stolen my identity
A: I guess
Like what a perfect moment in time
The fact this convo just transitioned
So many times
And how with an unsaid agreement
Became a texting convo
Where every now and then we observe look at each other faces
And observe them
smirks
And facial expressions
And sometimes laugh a little
*EVERYONE LOLS*
S: let your mind have fun, but don’t get drunk basically
this convo is going to disappear
all our wisdom will vanish
A: my year 12 my motto was “trap knowledge”, and I’d write everything
Guys write and preserve
Wisdoms of others and things you learn in general
Not just your own thoughts and feelings
We need to diversify them notes
S: one dua in my dua list: learn from ppl and let’s yourself absorb what they have to say don’t be so stubborn to take on knowledge from others
R: I didn’t know y’all were LOWKEY philosophers very good points
S: my words are not profound
I call them unorganised thoughts
A: It makes me sad the people who aren’t here right now
R: It’s okay. This life is made up of days and each day is diff. It’s okay that this isn’t how we planned or imagined it to be. I think- there’s good in this and perhaps something you dislike is good for you
S: it was interesting today, hearing A talk and not being able to say a single word
note to self: stay mute
R: Today’s quote: sometimes listen not always talk
A: And there’s beauty on both being able to speak and listen
But listening is very loved by Allah
And that is what I resonate with although I spoke the most today
Because I always feel like I am talking too much
Be a person of little words
R: Fame is good only after death Fame is good only after death
S: It’s very hard to put one title to an emotion
A: You can have 5
I grant you that
R: grant you that?? Lolll okay sirrr
A: Told you I like power
A: Life is just something we figure out on the way and we will never be really ready enough for it
And each and every person has to create their own individual map to navigate
Makes me realise how important friends and feeling real connections are in order to grow and make this map
S: A lot of the times ppl say things and its sounds so crazy profound and you just get so caught up in it — but it’s important to pause, recollect yourself and realise that right isn’t the same for everyone (Islam is right period) but I mean how to go about things — that can only be determined and established by you and your istikhara and guidance from Allah and don’t always doubt just cause other ppl would’ve done differently. I think the reason I struggle telling ppl things is because I’m unsure of what I want, and a lot of my judgements seem to be based on what ppl say. this doesn’t even make sense but like actually my brain is half working rn
A: Im quoting that
WISDOMS FROM THE PAST 2 DAYS
A new document is being created…
R: Fear of being influenced by opening up
Undue influence and it’s affecting how you go about your life
Because what people say shapes how you see your situation
maybe how they see it isn’t right for you
“Fear of being influenced and overwhelmed by opening up”
S: I feel like Imight be a bad human because it doesn’t align with what they’ve said
A: Yeah I keep getting myself in trouble for doing things differently
Not the way other would do it
Others who are great people
And I think that means I’m not doing a great thing
And that feeling sucks
But that’s not the case
Trust yourself as well sometimes if it’s in the boundaries of Islam still
You can only learn when you do things from yourself
And then you realise if they’re wrong or right
And that can help you navigate in the future
Because if you do thing because others told you
When the ramifications come
It doesn’t teach you as much
If it was you actually DOING it
Take control and have independence of your life
Take people’s opinions and advice
But don’t think of them as commands
Then the zoom ended after 40 minutes of “Stand by” and I could no longer copy n paste the rest of this conversation. So The End — we finish on a cliffhanger.
In short: Life is a never ending journey of learning from one another and creating our own unique, individual maps.
