Dear Mr Q,

I’ve always been overly sentimental so I hope this isn’t too much for you — but it had to be written because a wise man once said things truly named can never cease to exist. That latent power and permanence of the written word.

I know this a little bit of a cliche — but sometimes there’s nothing wrong with chucking one of those — It took me only about a week after walking into your classroom for me to establish that I did not like you very much. You were strange, foreign to me then & over the top with your unnecessary classroom AND out of the classroom disciplines (that I still don’t agree with to this day.) I had no idea how Mr Badr dealt with you and I had absolutely no idea how I was going to deal with you for the next 2 years. But on that day, when I walked into your classroom for the very first time, I also had no idea that you would impact my life this deeply (used your word) or genuinely influence the identity I choose today and in the future. But you did. You impacted both aspects of me — my mind and my heart. And that is priceless so I can’t thank you enough. But I can pray Allah rewards you and honours you in this life and the next. Pray that you continue to touch lives, spread unconventional views and plant seeds in the mind of people who aren’t thinking. I also pray you become more merciful to your subjects (students). Any school is lucky to have you as an asset. (and also will be when I join) Okay that is enough flattery from me because you do that enough to yourself.

But honestly, what you have to offer to students is something that we didn’t even know we were looking for. It’s so far from what the generation prioritises and society is teaching today — but that’s what makes it so important. The influence of the teachers at WGS was like a breath of fresh air for me. I see things I write sometimes and realise I’ve picked them up from you. I catch myself thinking a certain way — one that I hadn’t before and realise I’ve picked that up also from you. (for example the only reason I was able to write my toxic masculinity piece and spark a small but powerful conversation within my community was because of the ideas you planted in my mind) I want you to know from a student to a teacher, I haven’t forgotten all the meaningful things you’ve said to me, all your advice — all the times you touched my heart. You gave me confidence in my skills in a time where I was unstable. You validated my writing in the time when I was/am at my base which meant so much to me. You were someone out of not many I was able to open to. You made me appreciate literature and not feel alone for doing so. Your confidence (that is on the borderline of narcissism) has taught me to carry myself with pride and have belief in what I have to offer to the world. (Imran says you’re the only person that can manage to wear socks of themselves and be cool doing it) Never stop wearing green pants and flower ties. (and never go AICS again.) I hope to one day visit you with your 8 kids, with a very long white beard and orange pants. You are an anomaly, one of a kind and I hope big brother doesn’t indoctrinate you.

Humans are funny mechanisms; you actually can’t imagine how deeply just your words (basically sounds coming out a mouth) have helped me. Everyone who knows me, knows that you hold a special place in my heart for what you have done for me in a time I really needed it. And you’ve taught me the importance of having a mentor and being that for people younger than me — sometimes it’s hard to invest emotionally in younger kids, but seeing that you did in me — I want to make this sacrifice for others. I hope that you’ll always sincerely be there for me in the future. It’s also strange, it wouldn’t seem this way but you indirectly taught me the things I needed at that point in time (Allah works in strange ways). To not settle for yourself, to not limit your mind, to not allow your mind to be limited by the limited minds of the people around you. How to pull off a prank. You made me feel less alone now when I think back at some of the unconventional things you would say — my mum isn’t the only one who holds on to your every word. I want to thank you for so many things but I’ll write the first things that came to my head to keep it raw — Thank you for genuinely caring in a world where many really don’t anymore. Thank you for sending me your poetry, for always managing to stir my intellect. Thank you for the exposure you gave me, for making me feel heard, for teaching me more about the complexities of this world, for teaching me how to identify injustice. Thank you for playing devil’s advocate (it’s in your blood), thank you for our conversations, thank you for letting me borrow your beloved thesis. Thank you for helping me structure ideas and helping me become way, WAY better at writing essays. Thank you for making me think twice before I drink a can of coke instead of not even once. (Fun fact: I do everything in my power not to let my family and friends consume V anymore) Thank you for being a moody, unmovable, stubborn, scary and overly strict and controlling and did I mention stubborn teacher — your teaching is definitely an acquired taste. Thank you for being the most professional non-professional teacher I know. Not Thank You for shielding your personal life like some goblin though. (Hint now is a good que to tell me how you met your wife and every single detail about your personal life)

I’ll miss you; who can be what you were? I’ll really miss being your student, learning in your class, aspects of school and what you brought to the table. But my journey has only begun and our one is not yet over; our paths may cross once more. But for now, I guess this is farewell :( It deeply (your word again) pains me to know that as you read this letter, it is the last time we interact as teacher to student. (But I guess I could settle for colleague)

Since I will no longer be physically here, I would like to ask you for a request. Please take good care of my little brother — under all that, whatever you want to call it, there’s something special about that kid. He possesses raw determination, drive and intelligence — he just needs guidance in how to direct all that potential into his studies, into leading society and bettering the ummah. Know that his ADHD is real — it would be an understatement to say he’s extremely hard to manage but he’s also finding himself so I hope you can help him hone his talents and be there for him when the world is against him. Please take care of Fasial — my lil cousin who has so much growth and experience ahead of him (I call him a sponge ), Rihma — she’s come a long way and will only continue to do so with proper guidance and Laibah — she’s my little sister with one of the purest hearts you’ll come across, she’s open minded, has no prejudice and has a beautiful soul. They’ll all give you headaches but these are kids that I care about too much — they have good hearts and you’ll be spending enormous amounts of time with them in the most critical phase of their life. This puts you in a lucky position (I wish that was me) to influence and impact their lives greatly and so I pray that you can be to them, what you were for me. Because really, what is the point of our existence if we do not leave our impacts wherever we go?

I hope this is okay for me to say. I know you have/do but I want to remind you — always treat a student’s writing with respect, they are as you say giving you a piece of their soul, don’t disregard or undermine it, be careful not to by accident. Literature is declining so students are just going to progressively get worse — you have to help them want to write and not turn them away. Your attention towards students is also an amanah, so distribute it equally, try to change your methods for the slack offs, it’s usually because they’re not engaged or aren’t being taught in the method that is right for them. Do unconventional things like a 21st century “walk”. Don’t forget to focus on students who struggle — because that’s where you’ll have your greatest impacts. One of my favourite teaching quotes of all time that I’m sure you have heard of before but I will share with you anyways: Tell me and I forget, teach me and I remember, involve me and I learn.

(PS. I purposely made sure this one time my grammar was on point for this letter — although it would be funny if I did the opposite, so do I pass my last test?)

I pray that wherever we both may go in life; we sustain a string of connection. I hope one day I am able to meet your wife, 2 children inshallah, siblings and even parents. (Problem solved = invite me to your child’s Akikah) And you should sincerely consider naming your daughter Amira — it is truly a profound and beautiful name. I pray that your podcast enlightens the youth and Allah places barakah in its growth and impact. And whether he does or doesn’t I pray Allah rewards your and Mr B’s efforts. I will always be your most loyal supporter. I also hope one day when I have experience in something, I get a feature. I pray Allah gives you everything you want in life and more. I pray you represent our ummah — because we need more people like you. I pray for your family, I pray Allah preserves the love within your home, I pray that your legacy lives on. I pray that one day, I bump into you in Jannah til Ferdous. Just for the sake of pulling another cliché — I guess I should ask you for forgiveness now. Not to do it because it’s systematic but because I truly mean it — people constantly wrong each other and so often unintentionally. So please as you read this letter, forgive me for the times I have unintentionally and intentionally wronged you because surely, I have (hint year 11 days). Stay in touch. Share cool pieces of writing and other things with me.

Thank you for everything.

⁃ from no matter how much you deny it: your favourite student Amira

(PPS please burn this letter after you finish reading it because you know my thing where I can’t look back or think of others looking back at previous things I have written. So, this is only readable for the next 24 hrs)

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When he cried

9/10/20

It was both a perfect and beautiful moment of vulnerability. A man who has established himself as a person of no outward emotion. But today I broke the laws of the world. As he carefully peeled the seal, he too opened a piece of my soul and began to read. It was easy to observe that throughout the letter he was emotional — the way he read, his body language, the energy in the room. As he reached the end, his voice went slightly hoarse. As he read the last few words to the piece, his last bit of resilience too was released — such a strange and foreign sound coming from him. And then silence. He couldn’t continue. And then more sounds — his voice was breaking again. And then it happened, the holy tears trickled down his face. I watched him in awe, amusement, amazement and a beating heart. The tears a testimony to his own reciprocation of the emotions behind the words he reads.